We Jazz June

D.M talks about not judging people for their choices in her latest post and that made me think of Gwendolyn Brooks' "We Real Cool".

I'm constantly haunted by this poem.

In teaching freshmen, I found that poem to be a particularly good way of starting a conversation about life choices and about the individual need for validation.

Of course our need for validation makes us vulnerable.
But this shared vulnerability is such a delicate, beautiful way of forging connections with other human beings. At least, it should be. Much too often, however, any exposure of vulnerability is read as an invitation to flood you with advice  (at best) and unproductive, acerbic criticism (at worst) for not conforming to popular norm.

For example - a dear friend took her ill seven month old to a doctor at Rainbow Hospital, Hyderabad. The doctor took it upon himself to lecture her about her utter failure as a mother for working while leaving her child at a day care facility. (How dare she! She birthed the baby, how dare she not put her life on hold for him!)

This makes me livid. (I have same reaction to people pestering single folk - often in my knowing, single women - to get married.)

I agree with the general logic that everyone has to have some driving purpose in their life. But the idea that this purpose - this elusive route to happiness is the same for everyone is patently absurd.