Monday, January 7, 2013

Incomplete thoughts on Anger and fear from Gender and Being

Amidst the two big rape cases in the news (Delhi and ohio), I've been thinking about a conversation I had in the cafeteria last year, where I ended up, rather frustratedly asking the man with whom I was talking to fuck off. A year later, I stand by everything I said then - that we hide under the blanket of culture, that women are not taught to stand up for themselves and that men are not taught to treat women as their equals. That more middle class Indians need to acknowledge that patriarchy Dictates norm. That India needs to be having a conversation about the place of women as individuals (and this means legalizing marital rape).

This is a hard fight, especially in a country like India, because all things heteropatriarchal (normative, cisgender, heterosexual) are automatically granted sanctuary under the umbrella of tradition.

I (like countless other women) am quite tired of the "asking for it" argument and not the least because it presumes that the natural state of all men is Rapist. By extension, I'm tired of women being asked to cover their bodies (No, government of Pondicherry, overcoats do not prevent rape). And I'm fucking tired of arguments like this one - no you sick bastard, there's no reason for the girl to have held her attackers' hands and feet in the name of tradition .

I grew up much too conscious of my own body. All the modesty in the world didn't stop me or my peers from being grabbed, from having penises thrust into our back, and from facing catcalls or lewd remarks. This *is* the typical experience of my generation (and the ones before me). And that was bad enough. There is no justification (nor has there ever been) for letting this state of affairs continue.

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